I have forgotten just how difficult it is to leave someone. It really tears you apart, I think, and will stick with you for such a long time. A boy I know, who I did—and still do—consider my first boyfriend, broke my heart. Repeatedly. And I don't think he's a bad person intentionally, (though my best friend thinks differently) but there's something about heartbreak. You cannot truly forgive someone. At least not for a very long time. And redeeming yourself is a long and complicated process. Many choose another path. Sometimes, friendships and relationships are not rebuilt, and two individuals will live without peace for decades, if not longer.
I am trying my best to forgive, but it is a dangerous game—too many times I have caught myself at the wrong hand of kindness, and it has not served me well.