Oct 18

to be wanted

to know how much you mean
to someone else
to know how you make them feel
to know it's just you
to know you didn't change for them
and they still want you
to know they'll love you in your worst moments
to be wanted
it's a fragile power
sweet as syrup
soft as silk
ready to shatter if
breathed on too hard.
it consumes you
that wanting
knowing you won't be satisfied
until you have them
and at that point
you never want to let go
for the fear of them
never coming back. 
 
Oct 04

i know

that people dont like me
people talk behind my back
whispers follow me
down crowded hallways
and i keep my head high
pretend i dont notice
pretend it doesnt bother me
put on a mask
play dumb and
act along
liar/fake/anythingelsemymindcallsme
i pretend to be
academically smart though
i struggle to keep up.
i pretend to be
socially dumb though
i know more than people think
because i listen
i watch
i look for the hidden cracks
i can crawl into
and vanish
no one notices im gone.
from my little peephole
i watch and
see emotions and
lost stares. 
i listen and 
hear near-silent whispers and
soft confessions and
backstabs.
i wait and
hold my breath
moment frozen in time
let it go
world resumes
keep walking
head up
ignore
ignore
ignore
but dont forget
words clipped with steel
Oct 01

none of us are okay anymore

some of us aren't okay
because people have hurt us.
some of us aren't okay
because we try to help everyone else.
some of us
are just simply not okay.

we think we're 
broken.
we think we're 
failures. 
we think
that something's wrong with us.
we think these things
because society
has taught us these things.

none of us are okay anymore.
no one's left
to support us 
because we're all trying 
to support everyone else
and we're just
slowly dying because of it.

no one's left
and soon
we'll all be gone
alone
unhappy
scared
depressed
anxious
anorexic or bullimic
or just simply 
not okay. 
 
Sep 18

mood ring

i fell in love with you
on a friday. you
had just flown back from
florida the previous day and
came to see me play guitar
on a stage where
the colors are the brightest
and give us both migranes. 

i fell in love with you
on a friday. you 
held my hand in the back
in the dark,
stroking my thumb because
i was so nervous 
i was shaking. 
but everything turned out fine
because you were there.

i fell in love with you
on a friday. you 
came over to my house and
we sat in my room and 
at my piano, talking and
softly singing and just
happy to be together.
your mood ring was blue: happy.
my silver ring didn't change colors at all.

i fell in love with you
on a friday. you
gave me four painted wooden blocks
spelling out my nickname
and wrote tiny messages on the back.
i think i hugged you for at least 30 seconds
Sep 02

anxiety attacks

sometimes it comes without warning.
other times
i can predict it, 
seeing the clouds
before the storm. 
but every single time
i dont like it. the way
my chest tightens
and i can't breathe, the way
my vision blurs
or sometimes narrows.

the way everything gets quiet
OR SOMETIMES TOO LOUD.

i dont like it.

sometimes it feels like i'm dying
or drowning in honey;
what a stupidly poetic way to die.
everything pulls you down.
you can't think straight.

sometimes you scramble for the light
other times you just go numb. 

i clench 
and unclench my hands into
tight fists when
things don't feel right anymore.
i clench
and unclench my hands into
tight balls when
Aug 26
poem challenge: Six Words

:)

Aug 12

dreamscape

Jun 21
poem challenge: Freedom

When this is over

May we dance in dappled autumn light,
wearing silk clothes wrapped around our
tanned bodies, sun-streaked hair 
billowing behind us.

When this is over,
may we nurse our wounds and tend to the bruises
from the rusted chains that held us back 
for so long. 

When this is over,
may we scream our secrets into silent gusts of wind, 
knowing that whoever finds them will 
keep them safe in small, green, glass bottles in a 
velvet-lined box.

When this is over,
may our wings stretch further than ever before,
taking up all the sunlight and
take our voices back from those who stole them from us,
discard our bonds,
slip silk clothes over our bodies and
fly. 
Jun 21

Freedom of Love

Jun 13
poem challenge: Splash!

poem with a strange rhyming scheme

you can hold my head under the water
you can tell me i don't belong
you can throw snakes and stones at me
you can tell me everything i do is wrong

but the longer your hand
glued to my head 
stays underwater, the
more slippery it becomes and the 
more air i can force
into my lungs. 

the water will part
and surround me 
at once.
it is part of me
and you will never hold 
the title that i hold
that allows me to 
b r  e   a    t     h      e 
while you gasp at your sore arms.

you can hold my head under the water.
i will always belong
the snakes have no more venom; stones can't dent my armor
every bad thing you say about me is wrong
 

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