Aug 27
aegent's picture

Time

If I could pause the world for a little while, I would
I would stay here
Huddled in your arms
Refusing to let go
Just a little longer

If I could turn back time, I would
Back to tea parties on the carpet
Back to lunches packed for school
Back to hugging you when you get home from work
For another childhood with you

If I could stay with you, I would
Stay watching television at night
Stay making dinner together
Stay with one another

But time is an endless march
A train made without brakes
And it is because of this
That every moment I had with you
Every moment I have with you
And every moment I will have with you
Are the most precious things of all

There is no reset button
No stop button
No way to slow down
But to hold your hand
And knowing that we are not infinite
Enjoy every moment

 
Jun 18
aegent's picture

Books

The spine cracks as my fingers open the pages
Revealing great sorrow
Pain
Joy
Life
Within these pieces of paper
Bound by bits of string and glue
Holding an entire world within
Memories and truths and lessons learned are
Sewed along with the fictional tale
We read
We are consumed in
Living through the epic lives
Of the people born within these pages
And given life
By the eyes that read them
Jun 11
aegent's picture

Crows

Seen as some sort of twisted demon
Some monstrosity of incalculable evil
Bringers of death

They cannot sing the way others can
Throaty cracks caked in a croak
Echo through the trees

Flying effortlessly
A blur of black against a sea of blue
Soaring through the air

Their memory bounds past those
Beautiful
Delicate
Singers

Remembering faces
Those who have done them wrong
Those who have done them right

A society named a murder
With rules
And throaty croaks that have meaning

They are mourners of death
Calling out to others
To respect their fallen

Bringers of death
Twisted demons
Of incalculable evil
Loyal
Intelligent
Marvelous
Fighters
Protectors
Jun 10
aegent's picture

Communication

I pick my phone up
And put it down

Think of texting you
Change my mind

I  pick my phone up
And put it down

You are angry
But so am I

You want me to respond
And I want to ignore you

You want me to love you
I want you to leave me alone

I pick my phone up
And put it down

You love me
I hate you

But we are connected forever and always

You love me
I pick my phone up

I hate you
I put it down

 
Jun 09
aegent's picture

Erase It All

I was writing a poem
And I read what I wrote
And deleted it all

I wrote a poem
And read it aloud
And closed the document I wrote it in

I was writing a poem
And my mother walked into my room
And I shut my computer

And I thought that if I
Deleted it all
Closed the document
Shut my computer
That I could erase
The words that I wrote
From myself

Because they are true
When I wish they weren’t

They are a mirror of my soul
Of everything in my head
In my heart
And
It is dark
And cold
And alone

And I want it to be
Full of light
And warmth
And joy

And so I
Delete what I am writing
Close this document
Shut my computer

And look for something else to do

 
Jun 09
aegent's picture

Ha Ha Ha

Don’t you find it funny
That the person who has broken your fingers
Wants to show you
How to prevent 
Someone else
From Breaking
Your Fingers

Don’t you find it funny
That the person who stabbed your heart
Wants to stop
Anyone
From doing the same to you again

Don’t you find it funny
That the person who ripped open something inside you
Wants to ensure
No one else has access enough to do the same

Isn’t it funny
Don’t you find it funny

That no one else knows
That they broke your fingers
Stabbed your heart
And ripped open something inside you

Isn’t it funny
Don’t you find it funny

That everyone else
Smiles
And thinks
How nice
That this person cares enough
To prevent you
From getting
Your fingers broken
Your heart stabbed
Something inside you ripped open

Isn’t it funny
Jun 08
aegent's picture

Down the Rabbit Hole

You knocked on my door
Grasped my hand in yours
I watched your eyes come closer to mine
And I led myself to your rabbit hole
You promised me
Promised that it was full of wonders
Magical
Mystical
Marvels
My mistake was in believing you

I fell hard
Fell down your rabbit hole
Into this brand new world
Designed for you
And me
I let myself believe the illusions

But I wanted more
More than this rabbit hole
You knocked on my door
We had lunch
And foot wrestled
We climbed my tree
You held me close
We watched the clouds
You held me close
I told you my secrets
You held me close
But I wanted more

And you
You wanted some doting girl
Someone at your beck and call
And you shattered the illusion
To reveal a missing door
Rotting lunch
Falling tree
Puffs of smoke in the sky
And you
May 13
aegent's picture

Why Do I Write?

I write because nothing can make it stop
I write because I feel
When I want to feel nothing
When I want blissful numbness
When the world weighs on me
When I am desperate
Desperate for a reprieve
Desperate to be out of this head
This head
This head that won’t stop thinking
And mulling
And hoping 
And waiting to be disappointed
This head that is lost
That has no idea what to do
This head that is swimming in a sea of acid
That wants to shrivel up
This head that is stuck in the desert
That is begging for a drink of water
This head
This head
That I cannot escape from
But that I can write down
That I can try to make sense of
That is why I write
To slow the rush of thoughts
To untangle this mess of live wires
Even when it shocks my fingers
Even when the pain makes tears slip down my cheeks
It’s better
It’s better than being trapped
May 12
aegent's picture

Spinning

The dreidel spins
Faster and faster 
Letting loose 
Letting the world subside
As it turns into streams of yellow and blue and green
Faster and faster it turns
A blurred line on my desk
Spinning closer and closer to the ledge
Until it is nothing at all
Faster and faster
Until it tips over the edge
Crashing onto the floor
Breaking and splintering apart
Too broken to fix
It crumbles to dust
And nothing more
Like it never was streaming yellow and blue and green
Like it was never a blurred line
Like it was never
Spectacular

 
May 12
aegent's picture

Little Girl

I am small
With a soft voice
And they see me as a little girl
I would crawl
To let them know view annoys
Because I am not just a little girl

I call
To say my piece
And I am told
The age of a little girl
Will stall
And time for me will cease
The thought is like mold
Because I am not just a little girl

If it were my choice
I would peel back my skin
To show them my age
That I am not a little girl
My brain enjoys
Taking part in
Arguments filled with rage
Because I am not just a little girl

I seize
Knowledge and wisdom
I am more than a little girl
I do not need a leash
I have strength that may be hidden
Because I am more than just a little girl

I may be bold
But I am capable of more
Than what they believe
And I am more than a little girl
Perhaps I am cold
But I will soar
That is my reprieve

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