Oct 06

broken ...?

i never knew
that you loved me as much as i love you

i never knew
that you missed me too

i never knew
that you're actually more
                                      broken
                                               
                                                than
                                                     
                                                        
i
                                                        
                                                               am.

how is that even possible?
Oct 05

Here

i get to see you again
in a week and half

just for the night

we'll run together when you get out of school
and then go swimming,
and pretend to go to bed

and then the next morning we'll pretend to wake up 
because, obviously, we're never going to sleep
and I'll leave you,
again.


it's just for the night

less than twelve hours
and not for another week and a half

yet you're so excited,
     planning out every minute

excited that you get to show me this new life you've built,
about the new friends you've made,
and your crazy english teacher.

i know you live in a different world, 
because i live in my own world too
but it never really occurred to me before,
       
Sep 29

true blue

Sep 29

always

i don't think you know this,
but i always brought her bread
before school.

just one slice,
whatever was fresh. 

i always wrapped it in wax paper,
tied it with blue string,
and tucked it into my lunch box
under the apple slices. 

always under the apple slices.

i know she loved it.
she told me every day.

but now she's gone,
and you're here.

instead of her. 
             
i like you quite a bit,
        but not as much as her.
 
i'll never love anyone
as much 
as i love her.


yet for some reason,
   
Jul 29

what if?


your mom wants to open a swedish pancake house
mine wants her own bakery
what if,
        just what if,
                    maybe,

they could open one together.
in the mountains, on the north shore of the lake
obviously not the south side.
everyone knows about the people on the south side.

what if they opened a little restaurant
in the mountains,
and we could spend every day together?

in the mornings we could run deep into the woods
or on the trail that surrounds the lake
just you and me
and the dogs, of course.
no leashes, no phones, none of 
                                                 her
                                                       drama

and after we could leap off the boulders
and plunge into the freezing water
just floating in the crystal clear

maybe if the wind is strong enough
Jul 18

Memories

Jump the school fence tonight
Run until you're out of sight
leave me chasing hopeless in the dark

you said you'd stay for me 
you were never gonna let me go

but now you're gone
just like the rest
they never stay for too long


the memories are stacked high in the basement
where daylight filters in through a small window
sending a beam of light through the darkness
and the dust
it's so hard not to sit in the memories
in the first box there's stargazing on the top of a mountain
just you and me 
and a dead flashlight
whispering secrets
Feb 09

The Middle

Feb 09

And It's Now

Feb 09

Pedro

Jan 31

&&&

i don't know who she is.
she hoards song lyrics
on tiny scraps of paper
and keeps them in a jar
on the top shelf

where no one will ever see them
yet the world has

every once in a while
she whispers them aloud
in the calmness of the dark
where she's alone 
but we're never alone
she's the kind of girl
who prefers to eat lunch alone
and hates her friends
but no one knows that
isn't it clear?
she's quiet
& shy
& lonely
& hates the world
but they will never know that
they think she's funny
& outgoing
& friendly
& optimistic
they only hear what they want to.

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