Jun 01
Maria's picture

Warrior women

A warrior princess 
With golden armor 
And an aluminum core 
Told me to keep my anger 

Let it boil and let it rise 
Until the steam hits your tongue 
And when they chime how you’re too young 
Breathe fire from your soul 

Let your words be the embers 
Fallen at their feet
Don’t let your tears put out heat 
Watch it burn slowly 

Warrior goddess princess – queen 
With armor that’s both palpable and strong 
Teaches me how my anger is passion 
And my directness is professional 
Shows me that saying no is not being disagreeable 
Just as crying is not weak or womanly 
But humanly 

These lessons I know to be true 
If they are the only facts that I’ll ever know
Because warrior goddess princess queen
Is what I see

Jan 07
poem challenge: Scars
Maria's picture

Lessons of Idealism

May:

Sun rays bouncing off the rubber of my soles
Throwing me into the clouds 
Hazy, glazed over golden 
The realistic questions, the doubts wovet throughout only pinged me back down to earth 
-For a moment

But gravity never lasted in this manufactured world of mine - one that I thought was ours 

“How am I supposed to love the version of you
The one that fits with me 
Bends when I protrude
Pushes when I pull 
When I don’t even know … who I am
On my own
Is it you who are a perfect fit 
Or is it me who just crumbles into your cracks”

Late Summer:

As September chills sliver down my spine
I didn’t know who I was
Riding next to you Driving on a dark winding road
Swaying when the wheel jerked 
Laughing when your eyes hovered over mine
More importantly I didn’t know who you were 
A fractured mirror 
Nov 28
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Silver cars

Oct 31
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Love Voices


“Love, they promise
Love, please be there 
they fall back
Love, they need you
Love, forgive me
Love, we love each other
Love, love is enough”

I love yous are not an apology
A rag that wipes away the inflicted frost
Love is enough 
When love is not infatuation 
Love is enough 
When conditions are nonexistent
Love is enough 
When love is shared
Saying I love you is not enough
Act like it
 
Aug 01
Maria's picture

For Anxiety

Anxiety,
Why be 
So vengeful
Against your own body.
Making me want to hide me.
Lie to me,
All while you vie with me.
Nerves tangle in my hands
When you take your foreboding stance
They beckon me to lead,
And beseech you to concede. 
Listening is never your tactic,
So I am forced to hold you in.
To not let anyone see
The constant anxiety
And how my mind lies so easily.

 
Jun 26
Maria's picture

Want in Time

I used to roll my eyes 
And joke about what a lie
Relationships lead
And to ever concede to the emotion
Would only implicate someone weak
But that was before
I knew the change brought about in a single week
An hour really
One that turned into two
And a few 
How simple it is to fall
And how joyous it is to smile
For no reason
Just thinking
The chemicals flooding my system 
Convince me to unarm my kingdom 
The one fully equipped 
To shoot down any impediment threat
Only later would I learn what a mistake
It was to unlock the gates
To relinquish the guards
And for once open my heart
I know now that falling is only fun
When youre falling with someone
When acted on alone
Pain sears through your every bone
And the unwavering self esteem
The one you thought would never leave
Is no longer fueled by the dopamine 
What to do, you ask
May 23
Maria's picture

Playing records on the moon

At night I dream
Of what the days will be
Of the place I take,
When I am not fearing every mistake.
The cloudy nights,
Where stars remain hidden,
I take on these fearful dreams
And untangle the strings of my every thought.

However,
When the stars rise from the depths of the hills
And the moon is no longer an all encompassing surface,
But a spiral from which all light finds a purpose. 
It is then, from the safety of my bed that I wind up the curtains. 
I am bound to stay awake. 
To watch the sky dissipate,
And fade as the morning eve rears its head. 
But before the freckled darkness leaves.
I find traces of hope in the constellations,
And pretend that I too have a place in the sky.

I’d slow dance with you on the moon
To records too sweet to be true
And sing softly:
“ Whether together or a part
You’ll have my heart” 
To a person not yet known,
Apr 14
Maria's picture

Undone

What do you do when you feel as though you are coming undone.
A piece of string unwound, and the entire metamorphosis stunned.
Just asking for a friend. 
She feels her heart is tearing inside and ripping out her lungs.
Yet the beat is steady,
And the drum makes her numb.
She is greatness, brave and loved 
Yet it is the tragic loss that envelopes her every day.
The kind where it makes you feel as though your skin is an ashtray.
The kind that wakes you up with tears in your eyes.
With hope draining from the sockets and the weight of expectations just becomes so exponentially large that you start praying for it to crush you.
You pray that you can make it through 12 more hours.
And you watch others as they fall short of this depression.
You demand why, why is it that they get to be living.
When I feel so stagnant and dead inside.
Why is this world left up to probabilities and possibilities?
Apr 01
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We, You or I


We say I,
Yet we never see,
Our eyes eternally shut.
Our mouths wide open. 
We say, I 
Over and over again.
Hoping for it to take on a different note,
Wishing for our hopes to not choke.
I, 
I want to know…
We never ask.
I,
I want to see the world.
We are still blind to it.
And the question why hangs in the air.
Without an answer,
Yet with mouths wide open,
We seem to have nothing to say.
To answer them,
Instead,
We say, I 
I...
Stutter.
I…
Searching.
I…
Finally, words suspend.
I am merely my own perspective.
I look through my own eyes.
Without being able to recognize
Who stares back at me.
We forget,
That as much as we say I,
We say you, just the same. 
 
Mar 25
Maria's picture

Dear Anger

Dear Anger,
I don't need you.
Anger,
googling how to conceal you.
Anger,
at the ones who don't mean it.
Anger,
my captain, my ship.
Anger,
sinking in the blue abyss.
Anger,
"Breathe honey, and think happily."
Anger,
because it's my anchor.
Anger,
becuase I am prone to danger.
Anger,
because sadness is too big a defeat.
Anger,
as I weep at your feet.
Anger,
because you are the most powerful drive.
Anger,
what I'd do to survive.
Anger,
your rush gives me hives.
Anger,
what you see behind my eyes.
Anger,
boiling, spilling, foaming over.
Anger,
will I see you again, say, next September?
Oh Anger,
I don't need you 
-but want,
want is another tale.
So long and frail,
that overuse, seems to be abuse.
Oh Anger,
I try to conceal you,
but I still feel you.
I try to console you,

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