May 14
izzyk537's picture

A Nightly Ritual

What happens happens.
So everyone tells me.
So why can’t I forget?
Why 
Must I relive
Every moment of my life 
The moment that my eyes slip closed? 
The sheep that are supposed to welcome me
At the entrance of my slumbering conscience 
Are sent scattering in terror –
By hungry wolves that crawl out 
From the deepest corners of my mind.
Memories come alive, 
And remind me of my regrets 
Fruitlessly wishing to retract ignorant words 
Carelessly slipping from my tongue.
Split-second actions rewound in time,
Withdrawing knives thrown at fragile hearts. 
Silent apologies trickle from my eyes.
Visions playing over and over,
Skidding over flaws, fears, insecurities.
I glance at the clock, its light mockingly blaring 3 a.m.
Finally, the visions recede,
Replaced by exhaustion.  
I am freed from the iron grip of shame on my lungs.