I grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Middle Earth, Hogwarts and Prydain. I knew the mythologies of these imaginary universes better than those of my own reality. I thought I could fight injustice with a sword, comune with plants and animals, and perform powerful incantations. I waited patiently for an adventure to sweep me up. I never happened upon an interdementional wardrobe. But because I looked for magic, I found it all around me. Sometimes, out in the woods, or lying in bed listening to the rain pound on the metal roof, I was sharply aware of some underlying rhythm. I was aware of a tenuous mystery I could feel, but never explain. As I got older, the distance between me and the fantasy worlds of my childhood grew until these vague moments were the only kind of magic I managed to hold onto. I still want to believe in magic (I think that is in part why I write),  but I am inclined to filter my experience through the lens of logic.

Every time I shower
I take my finger to the sliding doors
pull away water from the surface,
spelling out "HI"
in messy streaks on the wet glass.

Really, though, I write "IH":
backwards for me so it's the right way for
the someone reading from
the other side.

Really, though,
as far as I know,
there is
never has been
a someone.
And I know it's childish,
know it's silly
but I can't stop writing "IH,"
keep spelling out backwards words on the shower doors

and the someone that there never has been keeps not-answering.

Every time I start my shower,
on the sliding doors are
the remnants of
last shower's backwards greeting
more faint than last time
unanswered
unseen
but still there.

One day I am going to travel the world. I am going to start in the U.S. and travel each state and then I am going to the next country. I want to travel for a long time and find many different ways each country is. After I graduate college I am going to begin my traveling. I want to have kids one day and take them to some of my favorite places I traveled before. I really want to go to Australia and the U.K... Why? I don't really know. In pictures they look very pretty and fun places to be. One place I really want to visit is Paris. It is such a beautiful and romantic place that I would just love to see. Another place is Italy. Mainly for the same reason I want to go to Paris. It is a beautiful and romantic place and I love the food. As I work and grow to make money I am saving money up for traveling. I cant wait to travel and see what else is in our world other than Vermont.

Physical watercolor.

 

People run around
Like a divine intervention
Will save you from 
The darkest days.
But all the people found
The same thing. Have I mentioned
That running inspires
The chase?

So they say

La la little ladybug,
You don’t have to worry about it.
Take my hand and gain my trust,
Then put it back right where you found it.

Well maybe Earth’s amnesiacs
Could tell me what it seems you can’t.
It’s easier to know the facts but
You say I wouldn’t understand. 

La la little ladybug,
You don’t have to worry about it.
Take my hand and gain my trust,
Then put it back right where you found it.

Sometimes I miss the sound
Of your ostracization 
That ended up
In broken plates.
"Turn your darling frown
Upside down, good intentions
Will take the pain away."

Then you said

La la little ladybug,

I found a pamphlet of thick cream paper
on a dusty undershelf of the poetry aisle. 

Like dried out flowers,
the words used to be wet. 

I read each word twice, 
waiting for them to bloom.  
But… 
Dry flowers can be lovely, can’t they?  

They smelled nice: 
those words, 
that paper. 

It was all very beautiful. 
But the flowers were dry.