Sadness is like the skipping stones thrown into ponds
by little kids searching to steal happiness.
They plummet to the bottom so quickly,
They are so out of place here,
But also so at home.
And they stay there until something is done about them.
Until the Earth swallows them whole again.
You see,
I am like the Earth in this sense,
I swallow the stones whole again.
Unexpectedly.
And it hurts.
And it ends in me crying,
Asking why these little kids
threw their stones
into my pond
searching to steal
my happiness.
- Gabby Chisamore's blog
- Sprout
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Kitkat
Jul 11, 2018
I like the ideas you explore in this poem. To me, the piece feels really open and quiet and gray and echoey-- I'm not sure why. But it's a nice feeling.
I guess there are a few things that kind of confuse and take away from that feeling. One is that I'm a little unclear about what exactly the metaphor you're trying to express is: does the act of skipping stones represent sadness or is it just a sad act? Or is it the stones who are sad?
I'm also not really sure what you mean by "steal happiness." How are the little kids stealing happiness? By taking stones from the Earth?
Also, how can the stones be out of place and at home at the same time? What are the benefits of including that they feel at home if the rest of your poem has a sad tone?
I'm not trying to rip apart your piece here, just a little confused. If you know what you are trying to say then it will make it easier to express it.
I think my favorite line is: "I am like the Earth in this sense,
I swallow the stones whole again.
Unexpectedly."