Home
Young Writers Project
be heard
  • READ
    • Recent Table
    • Daily Read
    • Recommended
    • Recent Comments
      • Table-Users
    • YWP Newsletter
  • CHALLENGES
    • Weekly Challenges 18/19
    • Writing Contest: Invasive
    • Live Challenges
  • WORKSHOPS
    • Writing on the Roof
    • Events
    • Voices for Change
  • PUBLICATIONS
    • Anthology
    • Newspapers
    • VPR.net
    • VTDigger.org
    • The Voice-2.19
  • ABOUT
    • YWP is ...
    • Contact Us
    • Permission Form
    • The YWP FAQ page
    • Site Help
    • Community Leaders
  • Donate
  • LOG IN/JOIN
Previous Post
Next Post
Oct 04
poem 4 comments
nean_bean

Trapped

Today I got lost in my head.

And while I was lost, I realized that not only was I lost

but I was trapped too.

In every direction all that I saw

were metal bars and infinite paths,

each more winding than the next.

Every step I took, just took me
 
one step backward from where I wanted to be.

And every turn I made had me dizzy

and soon disoriented.

With every move I made I heard a rushing

in my ears grows louder.

That rushing was the pound of feet,

the scrape of claws on stone,

the shrieks of wild beasts held dormant too long.

As I tried to run from these creatures--

those with many heads,

and staring eyes,

and jaws that glint with rows of teeth--

I found that my legs had been cut.

And the faster I tried to go,

the closer the beasts came,

until I was caught in a writhing pile

of flesh and bone.

I was so caught up in the darkness,

that a moonless night would have been brighter.

But soon, the beasts went away, the cage was gone,

but I was falling.

Falling and falling down a quiet pit.

Where the rush of wind

and the rustle of the thoughts cramming my head

soon drove me mad.

I tried to scream but all that I summoned was a silent puff of air.

And I fell faster.

I swirled about in a gruesome dance as the bottom drew nearer.

And when I landed with a bone-jarring,

teeth cracking,

head whirling,

thud,

I found myself trapped with my fears.

Stuck in an ever going spar.

And they were vicious.

They plucked at my heartstrings,

and dove at my sides.

Each blow stung a bit more than the last.

I felt myself losing ground slowly,

but as a poison infiltrates the soul,

I lost more and more with every second.

And when I was pinned in a corner,

tears streaming down my face but unwilling to back down,

I blinked.

And remembered that I was only lost in my head.

That to escape I need not escape the cage but simply

grow too big to fit into it any longer.

That to fight my fears I need only dream up a sword.

That with every lock, there is a key,

with every weakness, there is a strength.

That I need only close the door,

and walk away.

Open the blind on the cool Autumn day,

and let the sunlight come in.

So, with my fears and foes shrinking,

I flew up into that sunlight, slowly.

And crushed my worries with each flap of my

wings.


*For anyone who gets caught up in their thoughts, worries, or anxiety, please remember that there is always a way back out again.
  • nean_bean's blog
  • Sprout
  • Log in or register to post comments
  • Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Posted: 10.04.18
About the Author: nean_bean
MSG / CONTACT
RECENT LOVES
  • What Almost Happened
  • the curse of knowledge
  • 550 Words (I MAY have gone over...)
  • Empathy: A Cautionary Tale
  • Stage Fright
RECENT COMMENTS
  • Thank you.
  • Hi AliciaMarie7,
  • Thank you! It's always so
  • That sounds really good! I'm
  • Thank you so much!

Other Posts by Author

  • 550 Words (Inspired By Lou Beach)
    “I NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE,” THE GIRL WHISPERS. Read more
    in fiction, non-fiction 0 Comments
  • Almost
    The scene in front of her was almost perfect.Almost.Lights swirled about, Read more
    in poem 2 Comments
  • A Musing
    We're always looking to blend in, fit in,find our clique,and be cool, Read more
    in poem 2 Comments

Discussion

Comments

  1. Reid
    Oct 05, 2018

    Nean_bean, this poem brilliantly conveys worry, fear, anxiety -- it's visceral, almost painful. And how well you capture the sense of being lost and trapped. The metal bars and infinite winding paths, the dizziness. It's suffocating. And terrifying (the scrape of claws on stone). I love the sunlight ending, but I have one suggestion that you might consider, leading up to that ending. Could you apply the same energy and force there that you put into the fear and anxiety at the beginning? In the end, you were "unwilling to back down," but what exactly got you there? What inner strength or anger or courage led to the switch and the rise to sunlight? I think just that small, but necessary, follow-through to the end would complete this exceptional piece. Let me know what you think!


     
    • Log in or register to post comments
  1. nean_bean
    Oct 07, 2018

    That sounds really good! Thanks for the feedback. I just edited... what do you think??

    • Log in or register to post comments
  1. Cate
    Oct 07, 2018

    This piece is truly beautiful, in a honest reality type of way. The way you used this technique to describe mental health and fears is exceptional. nice work!

    • Log in or register to post comments
  1. nean_bean
    Oct 07, 2018

    Thank you! It's always so awesome to get feedback and I'm glad that you enjoyed my piece!

    • Log in or register to post comments
  • about
  • how to partner
  • for teachers
  • support us
​YWP  |  47 Maple St.  |  Burlington, VT  05401  | [email protected]  |  (802) 324-9538 
The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself. -- Albert Camus
  • Facebook icon
  • Twitter icon
  • Google+ icon
  • Instagram icon
  • Vimeo icon
  • YouTube icon
  • E-Mail icon