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Oct 04
poem 5 comments
nean_bean

Trapped

Today I got lost in my head.

And while I was lost, I realized that not only was I lost

but I was trapped too.

In every direction all that I saw

were metal bars and infinite paths,

each more winding than the next.

Every step I took, just took me
 
one step backward from where I wanted to be.

And every turn I made had me dizzy

and soon disoriented.

With every move I made I heard a rushing

in my ears grows louder.

That rushing was the pound of feet,

the scrape of claws on stone,

the shrieks of wild beasts held dormant too long.

As I tried to run from these creatures--

those with many heads,

and staring eyes,

and jaws that glint with rows of teeth--

I found that my legs had been cut.

And the faster I tried to go,

the closer the beasts came,

until I was caught in a writhing pile

of flesh and bone.

I was so caught up in the darkness,

that a moonless night would have been brighter.

But soon, the beasts went away, the cage was gone,

but I was falling.

Falling and falling down a quiet pit.

Where the rush of wind

and the rustle of the thoughts cramming my head

soon drove me mad.

I tried to scream but all that I summoned was a silent puff of air.

And I fell faster.

I swirled about in a gruesome dance as the bottom drew nearer.

And when I landed with a bone-jarring,

teeth cracking,

head whirling,

thud,

I found myself trapped with my fears.

Stuck in an ever going spar.

And they were vicious.

They plucked at my heartstrings,

and dove at my sides.

Each blow stung a bit more than the last.

I felt myself losing ground slowly,

but as a poison infiltrates the soul,

I lost more and more with every second.

And when I was pinned in a corner,

tears streaming down my face but unwilling to back down,

I blinked.

And remembered that I was only lost in my head.

That to escape I need not escape the cage but simply

grow too big to fit into it any longer.

That to fight my fears I need only dream up a sword.

That with every lock, there is a key,

with every weakness, there is a strength.

That I need only close the door,

and walk away.

Open the blind on the cool Autumn day,

and let the sunlight come in.

So, with my fears and foes shrinking,

I flew up into that sunlight, slowly.

And crushed my worries with each flap of my

wings.


*For anyone who gets caught up in their thoughts, worries, or anxiety, please remember that there is always a way back out again.
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Posted: 10.04.18
About the Author: nean_bean
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Discussion

Comments

  1. Reid
    Oct 05, 2018

    Nean_bean, this poem brilliantly conveys worry, fear, anxiety -- it's visceral, almost painful. And how well you capture the sense of being lost and trapped. The metal bars and infinite winding paths, the dizziness. It's suffocating. And terrifying (the scrape of claws on stone). I love the sunlight ending, but I have one suggestion that you might consider, leading up to that ending. Could you apply the same energy and force there that you put into the fear and anxiety at the beginning? In the end, you were "unwilling to back down," but what exactly got you there? What inner strength or anger or courage led to the switch and the rise to sunlight? I think just that small, but necessary, follow-through to the end would complete this exceptional piece. Let me know what you think!

    YWP Executive Director
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  1. nean_bean
    Oct 07, 2018

    That sounds really good! Thanks for the feedback. I just edited... what do you think??

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  1. Cate
    Oct 07, 2018

    This piece is truly beautiful, in a honest reality type of way. The way you used this technique to describe mental health and fears is exceptional. nice work!

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  1. nean_bean
    Oct 07, 2018

    Thank you! It's always so awesome to get feedback and I'm glad that you enjoyed my piece!

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  1. Inkpaw
    Sep 13, 2019

    this is so strong! it made me feel like I was going on a journey with you, through all your fears and worries, I really think you imagery was amazing as well, it had me leaning into my computer screen with the intensity and suspense.

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