I knew it was getting bad when I stopped washing the pears before eating them, not caring anymore if the infectious chemicals the farmers used made me sick. It got so bad that I became somewhat of my own strategist. Planning and lying my way around the questions, and the concerns. I became a madhouse and no one even noticed. They didn't see the mask I was painting on every day. My exhausted efforts even trick them. I was the underdog and I was winning. But how can you win if you're always losing?