When someone asks the question that makes my teeth crack like an egg to a window, or that makes me shake and, tremble like a tray dog, it makes me want to sleep it off, but i cant because, some days i feel as bijou as a mouse being chased by a pack of wolves other days, i am the leader of the wolves. When someone says to forget about it and work, i feel as if they are telling me to walk in shoes that are to small, that cut into my feel but, they simply tell me to walk it off. i feel trapped inside the eye of the storm, and it doesn't take me long to realize that my trembling ankles are to weak to support my body because the fear that has been widdled inside of me refuses to move to make room for the happiness, and the will to run. I don't want to run because i feel that the more i run the more the lava covered ground is burning into my feet, the more i run to escape, the more i find myself lost inside a pit that has been packed to the top with blades, telling me to cut my way out of this world. my family is like a book full of photographs and, i am cut up and down with paper cuts. when i look around my town, it seems flat, dark, in the eye of me, but in the eyes of others, they see beauty. I feel sad that i cannot feel the beauty in the world anymore, i feel as if my mind is completely destroyed, and im the one that dropped the match. I don't know what i want anymore, i want happiness, but i don't know how to get it, i want help but i don't know how to ask, and i want love, but it is hidden like a cigarette box in a cabinet in my chest. The only sound that is in it is the echo of all my mussels tensing and, pleading for happiness to baptize me. Every night i feel so alone, even though everyone says they are here for me i feel as if every time someone says that, im going to get a call saying "welcome to hell" because, it wont last, see i have had my heart broken so many times, my heart is a pile of bust bunnies running free. Every time i want to go somewhere it is like trying to right the story of my life, with no pen, or riding a bike without breaks, you try it at first but, you know it will not work, but you continue to try it but you don't get where you needed to be in the first place.