i am not

you lied to me
and i think you know it. 

yes—i am angry. 
i am frustrated. 
i feel 
excluded
and
taken for
granted. 

i am 
not
always going to be there. 

i will not pour out beautiful words for you
because you 
hurt
me
and i don’t think i can forgive you. 

but i still miss you. 
i miss you, not this
fake
person you’ve become. 
i hate that you’ve lied
to me
and you can still trust that i’ll be there—
always. 

but this time is
different. 

i am 
not
always going to be there. 

i hate 
i hate
i hate

that you
ignored 
me and expected
me
to be okay with it. 

i’m sorry that i’m quiet,
i’m sorry that i’m shy, 
i’m sorry that i don’t
care
about being popular,
i’m sorry that i’m not like you,
i’m sorry that i’m different.

but i want to stay different
even if it means i have to
lose you. 

i am 
not
always going to be there. 

and i hope you know it.