Never Enough

It's never enough.
No matter how much 
I try to change for you, 
it's never enough.

I want to be complimented by you.
I want you to admire me.
I want to be held in your arms
like a small child.

But I've gone so far
and you don't even care
do you?

And so I keep going,
searching desperately for what feels 
like the thing I need the most. 
Love.
Acceptance.
Acknowledgement.

I keep using behaviors 
that lead to excrusiating pain, 
in hopes that one day
it will finally be
enough for you. 

I watch myself 
as I slowly wither 
and shrink away,
until there is nothing left inside of me
but bones. 

The wind you sent
took my personality away,

And the knives you drove into me,
left me practically souless. 

I'm not living anymore,
I am only barely surviving.

And yet,
I continue down this tightrope, 
teetering between
life 
and 
death. 
Waiting for you to come
swoop in and save me. 
Waiting for you to come
make everthing okay again.

But it's still not enough.
So now I am left stranded,
my only hope of survival 
that I will somehow 
find my own strength and courage; 
Enough to claw my way out of this prison 
that has become my life.

Will I make it?
Questionable.

Will I try?
Absolutely.