thunderstorm mother

my mother is a thunderstorm 
and i have always loved the rain 
molten silver and gold kintsugi sky 
art in the making 
a creation of destruction. 

my mother is a thunderstorm 
(year of the dragon) 
she drowns me 
as much as she loves me. 

(you can do better than this.) 
(is this what you want?) 
(try again.) 
(i love you, always, no matter what happens.) 

lightning breaks me 
fuses me back together 
ever so gentle, ever so good
the rain comes 
sweet cold blue 
and shattered 
and hopeful 
and soft on my face, kissing my tears away. 

(she means well. she really does.) 

my mother is a thunderstorm 
bright and brilliant and beautiful 
(i can never be like that) 
but sometimes
i wish
her love wasn't
one.