Maurice the Second and Dakota

"On one of my shoulders sits a demon named
Maurice the Second
On the other sits Dakota.
She's supposed to be my angel
But instead of a glowing ball of light
Shining from within, smelling like a mother's pride and autumnal wind
I found her in a pile of beer next to 
Three Times the Charm Casino
On the side of the freeway.
I guess that's why I'm here."
The detention officer stares at me like I said
I started attending synagogue
I ask for a lollipop but not the orange kind that make my tounge fuzzy
Maurice the second says demons only like orange lollipops and I am going
To do very poorly in hell
Dakota says she's not doing sugar now
And I will also have to buy celery and stevia and cranberry juice
When I finally get out of here
Once I esxplain all this I am checked for a concussion 
Twice
My glabella is poked and prodded and pinched
Until Maurice the Second asks me to leave before he starts screaming and Dakota
Says she may take up Irish step dancing on my head unless I walk out of the door
Right now