i cannot concentrate, i cannot feel.

to feel;

what is it?
to feel emotionally (nothing)?
to feel physically (everything)?

i can feel goosebumps
up the back of my neck
everytime you speak

but i cannot feel
the riling in my stomach,
what i should be feeling when i see you

i can feel your soft touches,
kisses to my skin and
warmly-held hands

but inside
it is empty.
you hold my body.

it's terrible.
the inability to feel things inside
but feel them everywhere else

i think, because of this pause
pain feels all the more real
for it's something inside and not lingering.

i do love you.
i don't know what's wrong with me.
it's always been this way.

is there something wrong with me?
am i making everything up?
i do not know.

everything's so confusing
my only constants
this void and you.

i stub my toe and feel it for hours
i have a thought and it's gone in seconds
i cannot concentrate, i cannot feel.

and i know this much
that i am sorry.