The Mental Journey

For the first time I sit back and look at what has happened since that day. I finally noticed that it was worth it. I could have ended my life that day. Looking back on my life, I notice it was all the fighting that got me to where I am today. On that day five years ago, I got the letter from my dream college saying that I wasn’t good enough. I was just a teenager that worked her a** off to be the top of her class; the one kid that took every academic thing seriously just to get into her dream college. After that day, I was devastated and thought my life was over. To some people, ending it over not getting into a college may seem excessive, but when you have worked your whole life on getting into one school and failing, it's tough and it's the first thing that comes to  mind.

My story starts many years ago when I decided I was going to work towards being the top in my class and go to Harvard University. From that day on I gave up everything besides doing my school work. I never went out with friends. I gave up on the sports that I had worked so hard at. My goal was to do everything right. If I wasn’t doing schoolwork or at school than I was working to pay for college. Before I did anything, I made sure that it wasn’t going to impact my college life. In some ways I lost everything. I gave up once in a lifetime opportunities, friends, and anything else that got in the way. Now that I think about it, in the long run it wasn’t worth it to give up the things I did for one silly school.

Giving up some of the most important things in my life for this one school, meant I put myself through so much mentally and physically. In school I would push myself so much I would stay up all night just to get the work done early. I would be too tired to go to school the next day but I still went no matter what. I would ask the teachers for extra credit just so I could have that dumb 4.0 or more. When I was in the middle of work I wouldn’t stop to eat. I would just keep going until it was all done. I made it to the top of my class. But at the end of high school, I was drained. School wasn’t for me. I still put that Harvard application in.

The day I got the letter back from Havard was hard. I opened the letter and thought it was the end. It could have been. At that point I had given up so much for one school I didn’t know what to do with my life. The one thing that stopped me from ending it was I had tried so hard in high school and I was known for so much I had to keep going. It took a little while for me to realize that I didn’t have to be a lawyer. I just had to prove myself wrong that I didn’t do it all for nothing. I decided to travel to get to know the world and see what I had missed out on. 

That brings me back to now. I traveled all over the world, went to college for a little while, and now manage a business. After pushing myself so hard in high school and almost giving up, I needed a break. I traveled for a year, got a bachelor's degree, and am doing much better. I wouldn’t say that this is the end of my journey. I would say that it's just the beginning of a new journey. I think that if my younger self could see me now she would be happy that I didn’t give it all up. I’m waiting to see what the future holds for me and at this point I can take it. My life lesson is that if you are thinking about ending it, don’t. You never know what could come your way. 
    

 

hfahey11

VT

17 years old

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