be ok

Hiding behind a mask
Made of fake happiness 
And smiles slapped on for the sake of others 
Sitting with my back to a corner
Head down
I feel the tears run down my face
But nobody else can see them
So I just keep pushing forward 
And pulling my layers closer
Telling myself I'm fine
Even I know I'm lying
I'm not
But I keep hiding behind my preformence for others
And making believe 
That nothing is wrong
I lie whenever I'm asked a simple question 
And try to make myself seem happy
When inside I just want to curl up
Into a tiny
Insignifficant ball on the floor
And cry until there's no tears left to shed
Until the darkness feels less heavy 
Until I can finally let go of all those layers 
Of the anger
And pain
And self-isolation 
Until I can just 
Be ok.