Don't know

I don't know.
I don't know what to say 
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this 
I don't know
And it's the most miserable thing
I can't even talk to my own mum 
About what's wrong
Because I don't know myself
It's not something I can put into words
It's just raw emotion
And problem after problem 
It's falling down a rabbit hole of regrets
And waking up in a wonderland
Of reality 
Of people leaving you permanently 
And you never getting the chance to say bye
It's looking at all your fails 
And realizing 
You haven't improved in the slightest,
opening up to someone
to have them break you down 
giving all you got
only to be asked for more
falling down 
and nobody bothering to pick you back up 
it's stuck in a burning hell 
of indecision 
and uncertainty 
not knowing who to turn to
or what to say 
lost in a torrent of emotion
drowning in a sea of isolation 
of simply
no knowing.