it should’ve been me (class of 2020)









it all came crashing down

this afternoon

when the wind started blowing 

and i’d written everything i had to say 

down and already sealed it up 

it all became real, not for the first time but for the last,

it should’ve been me

your words were far from comfort

you never knew how to hold someone 

with your phrase,

but damn,

your presence could heal 

a dead man walking. 

but none of that matters now 

because everything that i

have lived for is gone

and each day that i 

pushed myself to 

breathe in

breathe out 


was wasted on a false hope 

that only now has

become such. 

it’s a deceiving tale—

weaved through

thirteen years

of hatred and tears 

filling up the ocean

letting me sail across

the barren dessert,

the tears had counted for 

something back then. 

not now. 

now i know they were wasted. 

it should’ve been me. 

it should’ve been me.

lila woodard

VT

YWP Alumni

More by lila woodard

  • city girl


    i feel like i don’t know you anymore. 

    i barely recognize your face at this point 

    all your city friends hate me 

    playful kisses in the comments 

    much more sinister then they seem
  • november pills


    it's a reprise of 
    my adolescent thoughts
    ones i had pushed away 
    ones the little capsules of 
    blue and orange had suppressed. 
    but those capsules sometimes 
    stuck in my throat, 
  • i’ll push back


    you make me feel trapped,
    struggling to get free. 
    you hold everything you've ever done for me,
    dangle it over my head 
    and taunt me with its existence. 
    you use your favors as bargaining chips