I'm sorry

you keep asking me if I'm ok
making me wonder if I really look that distraught

I just nod and say I'm great
like I always do 

little do you know just how much 
I choke on my lies 

you are so oblivious to how 
I get sick on my own fake happiness 

you never see how sore I am 
from smiling 

and acting like nothing is wrong
so that nothing will be
for you.

you don't see
how much I hide 

because very I'm good lying
deceiving you into less worry 

showing you that you can trust me
while hiding my true identity 

I have confused myself
the spider is caught in their own net 

and now that spider is laced with regret.

I'm sorry
even though I wont say it

I'm sorry
even though you won't read this

I'm sorry 
dear mother

for keeping you happy 
while I silently suffer. 

I'm sorry 
if you'll forgive me
for my inexcusable blunder.