happy birthday


i haven’t cried this hard since that one black haired guy broke that blonde girls heart in that one teen romance movie i marginally liked. 

but this is different because i feel so stupid. 

so god damn stupid. 

for spending half my money on you. 

for hoping you would treat my heart with care. 

i feel like an idiot for wishing that my sister would come back, 

but all i got was you. 

the shell of the person i watched terrible movies with. one half of the person i felt safe with. 

all i got was someone who was so used to fooling others that they fooled themselves too. 

you’ve tricked yourself into believing everyone else has done you wrong. 

never you. 

you could never do wrong. 

and here you are, destroying my wishes with your fist against the pink swinging symbol of my love for you, and then you are disappointed at what is inside. 

but this is my fault, 

because you’re busy. 

so very very busy. 

you used to never be to busy for me, 

for a laugh with me. 

but now i am an inconvenience, 

and you aren’t afraid to let me know.

lila woodard

VT

YWP Alumni

More by lila woodard

  • city girl


    i feel like i don’t know you anymore. 

    i barely recognize your face at this point 

    all your city friends hate me 

    playful kisses in the comments 

    much more sinister then they seem
  • november pills


    it's a reprise of 
    my adolescent thoughts
    ones i had pushed away 
    ones the little capsules of 
    blue and orange had suppressed. 
    but those capsules sometimes 
    stuck in my throat, 
  • i’ll push back


    you make me feel trapped,
    struggling to get free. 
    you hold everything you've ever done for me,
    dangle it over my head 
    and taunt me with its existence. 
    you use your favors as bargaining chips