curse drunk

you're always drinking 
more than you can digest 
but you only deflect 
and you claim no violence 
but then i hear from below me 
your screams and slams 
an echo of your childhood, 
laced with hers, too. 
and i've seen how it ruined you
and her, maybe a little less 
but still enough that it will always linger. 
and i won't have my years
ripped from me like that 
it would be better not to know you 
then to know you like this 
because fear bubbles up in me 
when i hear your spitting rage 
and muffled breaking of plates 
in the kitchen i once found safe, 
i lock my door, then. 
just in case, 
you finally decide to 
take it out on me.