The people who know what to say.
The people who say what they mean every time.
The people who talk, talk behind others backs--it makes them cool.
The people who are loved by everyone.
The people who get the inside jokes.
The people who want to be in the circle,
and The people who are...
I am not these people.
When everyone's talking,
until I say something.
And then those people go quiet.
You could hear a pin drop.
Because what I say is not what they want to hear.
They want the funny.
They want the right thing every time.
But I'm not those people.
I don't have the right words to give...
But then, they smirk.
Almost turn away,
but not quite.
Inviting me in, kinda.
Almost daring me to make a comment again.
Just so they can smirk at me.
So they can think about how much better they are than me.
Because it makes them feel that much bigger.
And they mean it when they say that.
Because actions do speak too...
So they continue.
With their petty gossip.
Their harsh giggles as they speak of others as pawns.
Just a name to entertain them with of course.
And they don't realize just how much it hurts to be one of those dismissive pawns…
But, they’re never talked about like that.
Not behind closed doors in whispers,
That’s never for them.
The words reserved for them are words of praise from the world.
Because so many people think that these people are the way to be.
They think these people are the cool ones,
The ones that are going somewhere.
They don’t know,
The ones that are loved are the ones that meet the end of the mountain trail,
and find that glorious summit
In middle school…
But they try anyway.
They laugh at the right time,
Say the right things.
And soon they will begin to learn to fit in.
They get the jokes,
Buy the necessary artillery to blend with the crowd.
They feel it’s better to be safe and nameless,
Than whispered about as they stand out…
They want in.
They want the circle.
They want the closure of the cloak,
That gets them considered cool.
They’d do anything to get there.
Even leave the group that will “take them places”.
Because the view of status is more important
Then laughing at book jokes…
And the ones that just fit in the cloak naturally,
Just wait a few more years,
See how the top of the pack in middle school looks on a college application.
Maybe it does sting.
To say the wrong thing,
Have that silence,
and the looks.
Cloistered giggles behind closed hands.
Miss the jokes by a fingertips reach,
Or laugh at them anyway, just to pretend for a minute.
Despite knowing that it's phony.
But I don't need to laugh, to be cool.
I don't need to gossip to be popular.
I don't need to be popular.
So what if you've got the greatest friends in the world?
I personally find mine better.
And maybe I do feel awkward around you.
And maybe you do look at me funny when I am.
Maybe sometimes I'd like to get the jokes.
But I wouldn't trade anything for it.
I’d rather be left out than in with "those people".