Apr 25
amberb's picture

How do I say no?

There are a number of things that teachers try to teach you in a high school health class

1.The right foods to eat

2.How to exercise properly

3.How to talk about suicide,

4.Depression

5.Body shaming

6.How to have safe sex

But there are still things that I wish they would have taught us

Like when do you really know when you are in an abusive relationship?

How do you avoid becoming your alcoholic father,

Or how do you stop him when he gets mad?

How do you shut out the noise of your parents fighting when blasting music and a pillow over your head doesn’t work?

When is the right time to step in and say that he has been punished enough?

How do you have safe sex when you are being forced into it?

But most of all…

I would love for them to try to teach us how to say no.

I mean how could I have said no?

How could I have said no when he had all of the power?

How could I have said no when he told me he loved me and that I wasn’t like the rest?

How could I have said no when I would try to move away and he would pull me closer…

With more force each time?

How could I have said no when he knew secrets I was afraid would get out?

How could I have said no when he had his hand over my mouth

Or around my neck

Or both?

How could I have said no when he told me again and again that I was a slut,

That I was the gross one

That I was in love with him and wanted him to do this to me?

How could I have said no when he made it seem like no one else wanted me but he did,

Even if it was just to fulfill his sexual desires?

How could I have told him no when he made me feel like I was nothing but a sexual object that was to be used for his pleasure when it suited him?

I really wish I knew

I really wish I had known better

It seems like so long ago

Even if it was only a year ago

But the days seem to fade away

When I see his face

And he smiles

He knows he could do it again

So tell me high school health teacher…

How do I say no?