Apr 26

Story of Kaelynn


    May 13th 2020

    

    Dear Diary,

    I should be happy to inform you that I am starting a diary. My mom says i've been having anger issues and think I should vent to something rather than taking it out on others. I guess it's not too bad. My name is Kaelynn and im 16 years old. I started feeling angry the moment my mom fell in love with a bad man. He was scary and liked to side-eye me a lot. Then they had the audacity to become engaged. When they married a few months later my baby sister was not long announced. I couldn't believe it. My life was falling apart. When my baby sister arrived everyone forgot about Kaelynn. It was all attention on Hazel 24/7. Yeah I get it babies are cute so I thought that less attention would be fine. It was only that I got upset when my mother kept forgetting about me. She always used to pick me up from soccer practice but now she forgets and I have to walk 5 miles home. She never comes to any games either. She had a different excuse involving Hazel every time. She would say things like ‘im sorry but hazel got sick’ or ‘your sister is very little so I can't make it to everything’. I would scream and cry telling her that it's not that sh can't make everything it's that she doesn't make anything.

    May 18th 2020

    

    Dear Diary,

    I went to the ER the other day. At soccer practice I broke my ankle. I don't really remember how since I was mostly unconscious from the pain but I just remember the ambulance coming to pick me up. When they called my mom she told them that they would be there soon. She didn't end up coming till the next day. Before she even entered the room I heard my step dad's voice saying ‘We shouldn't have even come. It her stupidity that she broke her ankle.” My mom answered “I know but we have to.” That brought me to tears. When she walked through the door I yelled at her.

    “DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE?” SHe started to cry but I didn't care. The drive was the worst part. My stepdad reprimanded me for yelling at my mom. I told him to leave me alone and then he said something I could not forgive.

    “That's probably why your dad left too. You are an ungrateful bastard!” My mom stayed silent. She didn't defend me or my dad.

    “He was a better father than you'll ever be. You wanna know why? Cause he decided to leave instead of being abusive.” That's when my stepfather pulled over the car and threw me out.

“Walk home.” He replied and drove away. That's when I decided that I couldn't care less about my family. I walked all the way to my grandmas and got there around 10pm. Did I mention is was a 125 mile distance and I only got a ride because my uncle was so kind to pick me up. I started to live with my grandmother ever since.
May 30 2020

Me and my grandmother are making it work. She takes me to counseling to help me cope with my issues. My grandmother has no problem with me staying with her. She thinks that me coming to live with her was a blessing in disguise. My mom sometimes comes and visits me. Three times to be exact. I see bruises on her arms and face. I tell her to leave and she tells me she can’t. She tells me she's sorry and that I should come home. I tell her no. She cries everytime. She ends up leaving as per usual. I miss her everyday. Hazels never mentioned in our conversations. I kind of feel bad for not wanting to know about her but i'm glad my mothers worrying about me for once.
July 1st 2020
It's been awhile since I last wrote but I think this will be my final entry. My stepfather got arrested for domestic abuse among other things. Mom and Hazel are now with us. My mom now goes to my soccer games because my grandmother offers to take Hazel. I'm my grandmother's favorite too, so she buys me almost anything I want as long as it's not expensive. My mom even has a new boyfriend that treats me just like his own daughter. Life is good. I know that i'm okay now. I still see my therapist to cope with past drama but I don't need this diary anymore. Hazels now said her few words and surprisingly her first word wasnt mom or dad, it was ‘sissy’. All in all i'm happy where I am. So goodbye.

-Kaelynn Mae