May 12

gone now

a love letter to gone now by bleachers

the song slips from the speakers:
everybody lost somebody
which begs the question:
who have we lost?

i look around the room and see
the boy who lost his father
to a lifetime of anger and resentment

the boy who lost his best friend
he recovered and he’s stonger than ever
but he knows he’s about to lose another

the boy who lost his mother
and simultaneously
can’t seem to lose his mother
no matter how hard he tries

the boy who lost his soul
to his shadows and his demons
yet he sits here today, still alive,
still free

and i wonder:
who have i lost?
i have lost so much,
counless friends,
countless memories but
at the end of the day
the only person i’ve truly lost
is myself

yet sitting here in this room,
i find myself
still here, unlost,
and all i have to do is
get myself back home soon