May 30

It's So Beautiful To Exist

I heard a voice yesterday.
I can't say it was yours
because it was muffled
through my bedroom wall.
All I know is your memory.
All I know is how to cry.
I don't want you to see me
because I'm embarrassed.
When I want to go out,
I forget that you're stuck there
in those walls,
trapped like an animal,
but you never howl.
You just stand silently
in my dark bedroom window,
waving a jealous good-bye.
It's not right at all.
Why do I always leave?
You're more gone than ever
and nobody knows who you were
besides me.
They'd never understand it.
They're not ghosts
and the more I look at you,
the more apparent it becomes
that you're just an empty space
where a whole life should be.
The more I try to touch you,
the farther away you become
and now I'm looking outside
at the world out there
and I can't stay forever.
Life is so rare and precious
and I've forgotten it.
I have to remember why
it's so beautiful to exist.