up here in my head,
it's strange.
i don't think people are usually
thinking about what their characters do next
how they interact with each other
where they will be in so many years after their adventure.

i lay awake at night,
staring at the ceiling, worrying
about people and things
that don't even exist.

would ravi actually survive that?
will julio manage to save ara?
what drives cairo, really? she's not that bad, is she?
i should write about malphas and alexander and chier again, shouldn't i?
what would matt do when he kills his father?

things like that drive my insomnia
but some days it's better.
when i write things down, quick little ideas
he dies from blood loss ? maybe from overuse of magics?
they don't always make sense, either
julio broke leg, fixed with leaf
things like that.

sometimes i just stand outside, eyes closed
sometimes i'm crying when i do it.
nature's course dictates that the old must die
and be replaced by the new.

how would kloryn rule when emil, her father, dies?
how would she treat kaer and kyalare?
what about ravilo - what would he do when he finds that meche is dead?
and illion? what would he do?

it's a jumble most of the time. i hop from idea to idea
from word to word
quicker than i can comprehend.

conroy and rosien run into julio and ravi!
illion survives with his sister???
kloryn gets a puppy?
pietre is happy at belund

it doesn't make sense to anyone else,
just a litany of nonsense,
and that's okay.