Nov 20

The Darkness That Surrounds Me

I lay in my bed, my head resting on my pillow. The house is silent, yet I lay sleepless. Thoughts race around my head as I toss and turn. I look up at my clock, 10:30 pm. "It's so late, and I have school tomorrow." I think to myself, but I still lay wide awake. I turn towards my wall and shut my eyes. My thoughts begin to race around quicker and my eyes shoot open. I sit up to calm down. It has appeared. Tonight of all nights. In my mind I envision running. Running. Running. Endless running down an endless hallway as the darkness chases me. It's to quick for my weak legs. I stumble over my own feet and fall to the ground. The darkness engulfs me and I sit there, shivering in fear. Motionless. I wake up from my imagination and allow the darkness to control my brain for a while. "Maybe if I let it stay today, it'll leave tomorrow" I mumble. Worry. Fear. Sadness. Anger. The thought of happiness disappearing. Laying again, I fall deeper into the abyss. I envision dark people surrounding me. I can't move. They move in closer. No movement. I feel as if I'm a pawn in a game of Chess. Useless. An easy target. Sweat drips down my forehead. I wipe it away. That move was a mistake, everyone that surrounded me moved in very close. One made a signal to the rest, and they all grabbed me, as if to tear me apart.I don't move. I close my eyes as they tear away at my skin. Shock fills me when I notice a light shining around me. Something bright has appeared to shoo away the dark. I awake from zoning out. I stare at my clock until my eyes focus, it reads 11:03 pm. I feel a sudden heaviness in my eyes as they droop and I fall down on my pillow. Slowly, my eyes close and I'm in the realm of my brain. I search in and out until I reach mental health. I want to know what darkness keeps me awake every night. As I wander down halls and paths, I notice an ever growing darkness. I cautiously walk over to it. It was being contained inside a large glass box. The nametag reads "Anxiety Disorders" There was another darkness in a glass box, but it was smaller. It had more of a dark grayish color to it. It looked as though it was fading. I walk over to it and read the nametag. It said "Depression" I feel tears burn in my eyes as the darkness of the anxiety grew stronger and the depression grew deeper and darker. The pain of remembrance hit me like a bullet to the chest. I awoke with a startle as my alarm beeped flashing the numbers, 5:00 am. Had I really slept through a whole night? I drag myself out of bed to continue another day of pain.
 

sprouted

The Dimming Light


Darkness.
Light.
It's leaving.
I'm not ready.
I'm not ready to be alone.
Please don't leave.
Please don't walk away.
Please don't dissapear.
I need you here.
With me.
To keep me safe.
To shield me from the dark.
I'm afraid.
So so afraid.
I can't move.
I'm frozen.