I try to live my life with no regrets, but that is a tough task to undertake when I am faced with so many decisions that could go horribly wrong. If I take time to reflect on my life and try to think of one thing I would love to fix, I immediately think of my cousin who was once my best friend. It has been so hard to watch our relationship fall apart over the years. We went from being two blissful little girls who would play with Barbie dolls together and run around trying to catch kittens for hours on end, to strangers. We never talk, and when we do speak, it feels so forced and well… awkward. We were so close, but somewhere along the line, we stopped being friends. If I were able to go back in time and find out where it all went wrong and save our bond, things would be much different. For example, we would talk to each other not only when we absolutely have to, but all the time. Things between us would go back to the way they were. I think about this often. It leaves me with a feeling of loneliness. Don’t get me wrong, I miss being with her, but I miss the feeling of letting my guard down around her even more. I miss being not only family, but friends too. It discourages me to think about what we could have been. But we still could be something. When it all comes down to it, we are just two confused teenage girls trying to find a place in the world. I have no doubt in my mind that we could be friends again, but it won’t be easy. I miss us and I hope things can change. Until changes do start to happen though, I will pray every night for a do over.