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Jan 13
poem
Alaina.J_27's picture
Alaina.J_27

Yellow Brick Road

"Follow the yellow brick road",
Is what lost children are told.
It's simple just to do what you're told,
And follow the yellow brick road.

It's not possible to follow the road.
I must break the mold,
Or face the cold.
I'd rather receive a scold,
Then be on the never-ending road.

So rather than following the given road,
I embarked on a new one,
That had twice the gold.
And that is why you must break the mold 
Of the yellow brick road.

*PLEASE comment and give suggestions!!! :)
 
  • Alaina.J_27's blog
  • Sprout
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Posted: 01.13.20
Alaina.J_27's picture
About the Author: Alaina.J_27
Alaina M Jarrett
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Discussion

Comments

  1. Inkpaw
    Jan 13, 2020

    i like this, it's got a nice rhyming thing going on, and the message is one that I definitely agree with. one thing i would consider changing, is the "I'd rather be scold" line, a better way to put this may be" i'd rather receive a scold." it's still not proper grammar, but it's a bit closer, and makes more sense, you don't have to change it though, it's just a suggestion.

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  1. Alaina.J_27
    Jan 15, 2020

    Thank you! Any other suggestions?

    Alaina M Jarrett

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  1. Inkpaw
    Jan 15, 2020

    not that I can think of no

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YWP is a creative, online community of teen writers and visual artists. We're based in Burlington, VT, and we welcome young creators from anywhere!
Young Writers Project | 47 Maple St., Suite 216 | Burlington, VT 05401
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Contact: Susan Reid, Executive Director: [email protected]; (802) 324-9538