finally, school is wrapping up
tying the bow atop
an unfinished present
I am reluctant to give away
what will i have when it ends?
will days stretch longer
or will the sand fall faster?
as i lie on this bed day after day
or are the days just illusions as well?
sweating as the sun shines down
and stagnant summer air suffocates
mourning the loss of the desert sand
that's fallen through the cracks
allotted to volunteering, laughter, travel
to the east coast colleges 
and their gusty winds of change
the timing, once perfect
now, the calendar in the waste bin
with plans scattered across the floor
too confusing to try to start deciphering
when all the numbers are x, y, z's 
that are constantly shuffling around
how does anyone do math with letters?
it all seemed kinda manageable
in classrooms so close, yet so far
their memory engrained in me

It feels like the flowers just came out, 
like the snow just melted,
and the ice crystals disappeared from trees' branches, 
like the mud just came, 
but yet, 
it's all gone already. 

There was no time to go stomp around
in little red rainboots, 
getting your clothes so filthy, 
that you will have to scrub them for hours
before your mom lets them go in the wash. 

There was no time for your little siblings to make mud pies, 
or cover themselves in the wet dirt, 
until they are nothing more than a giggling brown heap. 

No, because spring came and went like that. 

Now the dirt is as dry 
as sand in the desert, 
and the humidity has my hair going in all different directions at once. 

And the heat, heat, heat!
How is it that it is only May, 
and yet it feels like the middle of July? 

But oh well. 

Once upon a time it was perfect...

We had no illness holding us back
no one was checking the news to see how many people the stupid virus had killed that day
everyone was hanging out and having gatherings of friends.
No one was too scared to enter a building because they weren't wearing a mask.
For once I felt like my class had become a family...
But now, though the world is still working together to fight Covid, I feel as if I'm flying solo, and my plane could crash at any moment.
So, if it does, I'll take my time
to rest
to breathe
to let all of the happy feelings resurface.
And then I will be ready to start building my plane again...
And soon it'll be time for take off.
I will fly high over the earth and observe what must change, and what should stay the same.
I will sore through the sky and at some point, hopefully, I will meet my friends and we will fly together to a safe landing.

is this the new normal?
a hurting heart, limp hope
that you need to drag with 
you.

is this the new normal?
how do you even talk to
people in-person anymore?
how do you express laughter
without texting?

is this the new normal?
saturday feels like thursday.
thursday feels like friday.
friday feels like monday. wake
up, do work, talk with family,
go to bed. 

is this the new normal?
creatures of isolation, we
now exist in silence. learning
to talk to youreslf, to your
pets, maybe even to inanimate
objects. 

is this the new normal?
everyone will be talking
about only one thing. for 
months. there's nothing
else left to talk about.

is this the new normal?
that it is scary to go out
in public. that being safe
means sitting inside your
home.

is this the new normal?
i don't know. maybe? but