Mar 19

Paralysis

I try my best to write,
get some words down on a page.
I know I should,
but the words are not behaving.
Every time I try to grasp them, 
they slip through my fingers like water.
I can't get more than a few lines.
Why won't the words just do what I want?
I try again and again to get something,
clawing, grabbing at the air,
but I come up empty-handed.
The few sentences that I do manage to write
are stale, nothing but a bland
explaining of the facts or physical features.
As soon as I try to add any emotion,
I get stuck.
The words write themselves quickly
and plentifully in my mind,
turning around and around,
but they stay there are won't come out.
Any time I try to get to what I actually think,
what I actually feel,
it's like there is a blockage put up,
a heavy metal door slammed in my face,
and everything just disappears,
put away someplace that I can't reach. 
And it can't come out,
and I can't progress,
and all I can do,
​is just sit there,
paralyzed.