My heart thuds in my chest
Faster than it probably should be
Considering that I haven't done
Any physical activity 
In weeks

My soul is still hoping
Just recently repaired
From the last shots of rejection
And foolish as I am
I've gone and put myself out there
Again

Perhaps that is the beauty
Of being young
We heal faster than we should
Ripping off the scab 
The itch was unbearable
It'll leave a scar

We feel things deeply
Be it excitement or pain
The shock goes down
To the very core of who we are
It is time to learn
To stop gambling with my soul

I can clearly recall 
Opening the email in chem
They said "outstanding"
But I read "not enough"
Wallowing in my incompetence
The world becomes spots of color
Seen through tears that won't fall

Sure, I say that I'm a writer
But sometimes I feel like
I could never write anything
good enough

I'm praying this is it
The moment where I can be
good enough
I'm breaking the reload button
Because despite my facade of confidence
I am scared you'll say "no"