Apr 17

runnin' on empty

i keep on
typing things
and pushing backspace
erasing them
from existence
my words these days
don't seem to come
to life
it's not even
that i don't have the ideas
taking pictures
but not developing them
piling up
pressure on myself
it's just that my brain's
pooped
i might even erase this
i never really know
all it takes is a
simple
ctrl a, backspace
moving backwards
languishing in a 
motivation drought
once a leaky faucet
the well has long gone dry
maybe washed my hands
too much
too fast
now sahara dry
no water to spare
not even to cry
in pure despair
feeling empty
yawning up at the sky
as if howling
screaming
but not having
the voice
i'm tired
and
i don't understand
what's changed
pressing my hands against
my forehead
runnning a hand
over my face
trying to wipe this
debilitating exsiccation
off my eyes and mouth
let me feel something
again
ashamed of myself
i feel so lazy
frustrated with myself
why can't i just do
something
be
productive
my hands clench on my forehead
and i think about what i've done
all accumulating
to about

nothing