May 28

OUR FEARS

Fear. It changes us. Grabs us with strong tentacles, shaking and squeezing till we don’t know our up from our down. Our brains scrambled, we run. Point fingers at whom is to blame. Cast harsh judgments and think selfishly. That's what the coronavirus has done to us. It has placed a blindfold upon our heads and sent us out into the world. No wonder we are scared . . .
- Whitney 

. . . Every morning it’s like the same track in my brain: when will it end? What’s happening now? How could this ever have happened to us? Fears that run around in constant circles never stopping for breath. The world is a frenzied mess. Often I wonder how we’ll ever pull ourselves back together again . . .
 - NiñaEstrella 

. . . especially when we are forced to stay apart. We watched in alarm as businesses closed in the blink of an eye. Employees sent home with no idea of when to return. The worries of being disconnected from stores and people for an unknown period of time grew overnight. Low on testing kits. Low on hospital rooms. Low on knowledge. Growing in questions . . . 
 - Treblemaker

. . . It brings me fear to think about how it seems bad for us who have to stay home and be careful, we are actually getting it mild compared to the people who are sick or have family in the hospital that they can’t even visit. It brings me fear to have that constant worry that it’s going to stay this way . . .
 - E.B. Pointy-Pen

. . . for possibly a long time. Who knows when this is going to end? I fear that this life I am living is going to be my life for a long time. But at the same time, it brings me fear to think about hospital staff, first responders, and all those people out there working in the community to keep us safe. I worry for their health. They are probably scared too, but they seem so fearless . . . 
-happydancer

. . . as they go into the hospitals day after day even when they don’t have the supplies they need. It makes me feel selfish to be scared for my own future when there’s people out there putting their necks on the line for us; but at the same time, I can’t help but be afraid. What does this mean for us? High school, graduation, college? Will the world ever be the same, or is this our new normal? Everyone is trying to stay optimistic, but underneath it, . . . 
- amaryllis

. . . underneath it, they’re really scared: scared to get their families sick, scared that this is never going to end, so scared that they quarantine themselves in garages away from the people they love most. I feel selfish now when I cry about what I’m missing when there are people out there who are missing so much more -- but still. Heck, I missed the world premiere of a movie that I was in. On March 13 I would’ve been on a flight to Texas and then jumping up and down, screaming and hugging everyone in sight because here was our movie, on a huge screen for thousands of people to see. But no -- I was stuck at my house, sad and wondering, where’d normality go? It reminds me of one of those claw machine games; the thing we’re trying to grab is normal life, but we can’t seem to get a good grip on it . . .
- hannah.banana23 

. . . Normality keeps slipping out from between our fingertips, and we’re trying to cling to the things that remain constant as we fight to block out the doubt that clouds our eyes. My grandparents made it safely from their Florida house to their home in Maine, but now they have to worry about their neighbors who have tested positive. Most of the time I forget that they have reached old age, and their bodies are not as strong as they once were. Just because their minds are strong doesn’t mean that their immune systems are the same. This, and other things are what keep me awake as I lie in bed trying to forget that we live in historic times . . .
-Crescent_Moon

. . . and thinking about how fear tends to drown us in the feeling that we can’t do anything. It seems to immobilize us and, at the same time, spur us to lose our heads and only think about ourselves. Fear that we will lose the people we care most about in our lives, fear that we will lose ourselves, fear. . . of fear itself. So often we as people are faced with small fears such as dropping a cup and breaking it; this fear feels so large it’s as if we are all carrying giant cups, and if we drop them not only will the cup break, but everything around it will shatter as well -- leaving us in the crumbling rubble of the world. Fears that if we don't lose our minds to quarantine we will die of a sickness for which there is no clear cure . . .
 - Inkpaw 

. . . except keeping to yourself and washing your hands. It’s scary to think that this could be our reality for longer than they are saying. For me, the craziest thing about this is no one knows for sure an answer. Everyone is completely in the dark, and there are some questions that simply can’t be answered. The unknown is scary because you can’t know what it is until it hits you; suddenly it’s right there and all around you, and you can do very little to stop it. 
- LadyMidnight
 
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