Jul 07

Words are hard.

words are hard
i try to make them right
the ones that make sense
the ones that sound pretty
and fall off my tounge with a smile
but
how i feel
doesn't turn into words
its not smooth or clear like the shattered glass 
of the window i taped back together with my imagination
and pretended wasn't scattered across my green carpet 
green like your eyes on a grey cloud day 
how i feel 
is rugged and spiky 
like the cactus on the windowsill
dirt mixed with glass bits
destruction i don't recall
only the cuts on my fist remember 
the feeling that was felt
as they broke through the delicate, and pretty, but in the end pointless
glass words
exposing the ones made of hardened tears
and the jagged part of love
that can only be found
after you think its gone
words are hard
a reflection of the uncertainty and undoubted insanity 
that flows through a "normal" day to day interaction 
filled with empty hellos 
and meaningless pleasantries
that are supposed to bring you closer to me
but they just make you feel further away
there is no sweet smile i love so 
accompanying your every word  
there are no eyebrow raises when i say something off
only missing and wondering if each sentence is wrong
words are hard 
and the distance only makes them harder 
solid and unwavering
taken the wrong way and twisted back on me 
hands shaking cause im scared of how to say these things
i love you and always will 
is what i meant to say 
but all your seemed to hear 
was please just go away 
words are hard 
they don't bend to fit my mouth 
sometimes words are sour
unintentionally fowl 
and i don't mean to hurt you with the bluntness of how they sound
But with words over text it's not easy 
and words are hard anyways . . .
please help me out
words are hard and i have my doubts
that i could ever say this right even if it was out loud
because words are hard 
whether written or said 
words don't want to come out right 
from within my messy color filled head.