as a person or as a lover
it's only that you understand me.
so you are closer than anyone else.
im so afraid of hurting people.
im so afraid of my unwillingness to let go of you in the ways that i can.
i am so frustrated and greatful and devastated and infuriated that you can never not be a part of my life
i feel like we will die together
your so deeply rooted in every singe problem and promise
i have ever had or made
i didnt even realize it.
i never do.
and i only see your significance
when i'm left stripped of any distraction
left to writhe
bereft before your carefully constructed constituency
its like a punishment.
why cant i see past you?