Oct 13

People don't ever really change

I believe that there are some aspects of ourselves that we never lose. Nobody ever really changes that much, do they? The world undulates around us while we make and lose friends and buy and throw away material things, but then there are those rocks sitting at the bottoms of our ponds. The water will shape the rocks over time but their cores will always be the same.

For instance, I'll never lose my love for nature. I can't imagine a future in which I don't go hiking, or one where I don't enjoy observing wildlife roaming about in their natural habitats. For me, those are old and everlasting feelings. In my opinion, new ones that we feel are more like whims - they stay with us for a bit, but eventually pass by. In my experience, most are heavily supplied by social media. I want to go live in Italy. I feel that my life is incomplete without a boyfriend. After a day or two, I'm myself again, and I realize that I don't really want to uproot my life to go live in Italy and that I am doing totally fine without a guy in my life.

Currently, images of fall and winter collide against each other in my mind. I keep thinking of the cold smell of January air. These are new parts of me. A month ago I mourned the loss of summer and believed the feeling would drown me forever. Now I can't wait for the first snow to arrive.

So here I am. Same person. New thoughts and feelings mixing with those everlasting ones, though. I'm awaiting the gentle click of my radiator to come back, like an old friend I haven't seen in a while. But in essence I remain unchanged since the day I was six, four, two, or just born. Earth keeps spinning on her axis, and I have managed to keep this much of myself intact. Mint condition, I like to think.