Oct 28

Unapologetically Queer

Just as I thought I had everything about my sexuality figured out,
you waltzed right in and turned everything upside down. 
I thought I had finally found my label,
finally figured out that I only liked women. 
Then you came along,
and challenged
everything
I thought 
I knew.
I'm now realizing that I don't care much for labels. 
They put too much pressure on fitting into a category.
And I've never been one to conform. 
Though it is frustrating.
Every time I get close enough to reach for an answer,
it slips through my fingers.

I've settled on the term queer.
It's open-ended and I don't owe anyone an explanation.
I'm unapologetically attracted to women, 
I think they're just perfect. 
But there's something about you that has caught hold of my attention 
and refuses to let go. 
It's thrilling honestly,
I've never felt anything like it.

You've polluted my thoughts
and almost every aspect of my life,
not even my dreams are safe anymore.
I can't do anything without the fleeting thought of you. 
It's infuriating at times if I'm being honest. 
It feels as though you live in my mind and can see my thoughts.
But I can't deny that the thought of you makes me feel like my blood has been replaced by electricity. 

I've only ever felt remotely like this about women,
which is why it's so confusing that you trigger these feelings. 
You've made me reexamine my foundations,
and in some weird way, I'm thankful for it.
You've set me free from the world of desperately trying to find a label.
I'm no longer hostage to the countless hours of self-reflection.
I can exist as unapologetically queer, 
and whoever catches my eye, 
catches my eye.
And I don't have to owe anyone an explanation about it.