Jan 01
NavaRae's picture

forgive too easily

After years of tears
And fights
And pushing me away,
Things are changing;

You seem better now. 
The light is back in your eyes,
The pep in your stride,
The love is back. 

But I’m not sure I am
The wounds of betrayal you inflicted are not yet healed,

Despite how I forgave you
I have always forgiven too easily

“It’s ok”, and “no worries”, 

Rolls off my tongue eagerly and smoothly - 

Almost desperate to resolve the conflict before it even starts
You pushed me away for years. 

Brain clouded with mental illness, 
But still - 
Are we supposed to forget that? 

Am I supposed to forget that?

The monster of depression ruled over you for years,
It is not your fault,
But it isn’t mine either

I have always forgiven too easily
It usually brings me more peace to just let it go,
Than to fight any sort of battle 

I wish I could forget as you have,

To disengage with the past,

To let go

I almost wish,

Almost - 

I didnt forgive you so quickly. 
Guilt is in every corner of my mind, but lie to you I won't

You seem to expect me to join you in that state of perfect blissful ignorance as well
The thing is, 

I love you so much I just might