I have forgotten just how difficult it is to leave someone. It really tears you apart, I think, and will stick with you for such a long time. A boy I know, who I did—and still do—consider my first boyfriend, broke my heart. Repeatedly. And I don't think he's a bad person intentionally, (though my best friend thinks differently) but there's something about heartbreak. You cannot truly forgive someone. At least not for a very long time. And redeeming yourself is a long and complicated process. Many choose another path. Sometimes, friendships and relationships are not rebuilt, and two individuals will live without peace for decades, if not longer.
I am trying my best to forgive, but it is a dangerous game—too many times I have caught myself at the wrong hand of kindness, and it has not served me well.
This year, especially, relationships have been forged and broken apart. We are trying our best to hold on, but it's been a tumultous couple of months, and honestly, I don't think many of us are ready to try again. Maybe this summer, when he is supposed to come back, but for now, I stay firmly on the side of many of my peers—firmly out of touch.
I'll try, and I hope the rest of you can, but I do get how difficult to be, especially with a person who treated you horribly.
Try, my friends, and I'll do the same.