Apr 30

Underestimating

Partly inspired by my phone because that's where I started writing it and I copied a lot of the "line breaks" that came from the smaller screen.

I forgot the tree in my yard bloomed so beautifully,
never knew my friends were so much more
amazing than I thought
     (or liked this or
     were good at that);
failed to understand how complex people are, beyond the hours, the few spoken words,
during which our lives overlap

The world reminds me, peeling fruit I never sliced into
because they were too bruised for me to accept
but not all parts are "rotten"
and there's strength in the soft spots
that I didn't notice.

The world nudges me
in the shoulder,
trying to turn my eyes from the mirrors and journals
and pay attention for once, because more things matter than myself
and I'm blocking those around me with unneccessary thoughts

And the world blows a list in my face
of kindnesses, favors, a thank-you note to-do list, but
not because I have to, but maybe it's
actually important to step back and be grateful for once
or twice
or always

My brain sets bars and boxes people in
assuming abilities, labeling lives, taking too much for granted
when these people break through, away, from my judgements,
I get it
starting to understand that
my expectations are as flimsy as dental floss that
needs to be thrown out
starting to try to
let people flow without my mind's assumptions

Still, I'm scared
even breakable barriers leave marks
in your skin when they snap
floss wrapped too tightly, cutting off circulation

and nobody deserves this from me.