Sep 18

Monotony and a Pencil

Adorned by graphite expectations 
Fingers gripping tightly 
To the chipping yellow nub
To the hopes and dreams
He’s afraid will dry up
Surge through his head
Washing gentle waves upon his brain 
Gentle are not the words he wishes to convey 
Nonetheless he lets the silence envelop him 
Fantasies of freedom 
Gone along with the sunkissed inspiration 
And will to rise from his seat
Choking on the dread that filled his lungs 
It smells of anxiety and highlighter ink
many a homework assignment late or incomplete 
And of the many many people who may have sat 
But in this silence too, sink 
Wishing much like he that they too could be gone 
In just one easily mistakable blink 
He raises his head 
But all he can see is chartreuse and honey yellow 
Sharp circles and soft triangles 
is the cast of all his troubles 
Greys that slowly creep and purples that so gentle peep 
From a mind of colored yarn 
eyes baggy from a lack of sleep 
Panic rising in a neon yellow wave
Cresting as his thoughts a flurry 
Mingling with a fear of change
Countless insecurities on a foundation of mistrust 
Slowly increasing expectations 
But he feels he’s not enough 
Oh so many times he’s broken down and cried
Hiding from the person that he knows he is inside 
Denying each aspect that he’s scared to understand 
Of the mind that lives inside his skull 
A partially undiscovered land 
Tighter still he grips his pencil 
Until grasped with his other hand 
Chipping yellow in two parts, broken by the fear of falling apart.