The boy says we should go as Hugh Hefner and a playboy bunny for Halloween
I say I'd rather be Gloria Steinem 
Later, I see him Googling "Who is Gloria Steinem"
When I show him my costume
He frowns like a horse
"I thought it would be sexier"
He is not the one
The boy says we should go as Hugh Hefner and a playboy bunny for Halloween
But I should be on a leash
I say I'd rather be Gloria Steinem
He asks if I can still be on a leash because that's kind of hot
He is not the one
The boy says we should go as Hugh Hefner and a playboy bunny for Halloween
But he'll be the bunny and I'll be the playboy
I smile, agree
Maybe he is the one
I come home to see a costume laid out
He's in a white t-shirt and cargo pants and wears a child's bunny ears
I have brown booty shorts and a brown bra
He is not the one
The boy says we should go as something for Halloween
"I won't be a playboy bunny"
He shakes his head
"You don't have to be"
Maybe he is the one
"I wouldn't let you be. Females these days deserve everything that happens to them
When they dress like sluts."
He is not the one
The boy says we should go as Hugh Hefner and a playboy bunny for Halloween
I say no
He smashes his phone and cries
He is not the one
The boy says we should go as Hugh Hefner and a playboy bunny for Halloween
I say fine
He shakes his head like a grandfather
"I'm so disappointed in you"
He is not the one
Maybe there is no one out there
But if there is
He is not the one