Jan 07

January 6th 20__

January 6th

three signifigant things happened
stuck in my head

The day of my brother's birthday
He turned 14, my grandfather
has started calling him Young Man
no longer just Grandson
I handed him a balloon in school, big and colorful, and he
took it and gave me a smile that made him look older
Because he suddenly is
Read his birthday book, the grey cloth covered journal
my mother writes in every year on his special day
Cried when they brought back memories
(Yes, I am an emotional person. Sue me)
of me sitting on the couch and holding him, both of us turning into cowboys for a day
His big brown eyes peering up at the camera mom was holding
trying to capture this moment of him, sitting in a 5 gallon bucket, eating blue chalk
but that was 11 years ago
on January 6

The anniversary of
people storming the Capital
wounds and social media stories and trauma
were all that came of that
So many people, such anger
so little outcome
There isn't much more to say about this
except for what the actual fuck were they thinking
But that was last year
January 6

The person I love stayed with me
through all the hard and disagreements and confusion
We leaned on each other and held ourselves together, broken people a little less shattered together
And made it through, together
8 months of love, including
3 months of seperation, 122 days of Keeping Secrets
January 6

I am not proud
of this piece of writing
it's not one of my better ones, it's not creative or lyrical or beautiful
but it is truthful and this is
this is what happened 
on my January 6