Jan 10


i'll be floating on a cloud
swimming with sparkling seals
singing with golden angles from hell as my backing vocals
initiating a temorary christmas truce with my anxiety
and someone'll say something-
idk what
and i'll be depressed as fuck
crying my eyes out
not giving a damn about the impending headache i'm for sure to get later.
i'll be pissed
my emotions a swirling hurricane of-
"fuck off
leave me alone
can't you see i hate the world and everything about it right now"
and someone'll say something-
idk what
and i'll be laughing my ass off 
even if they had said the world was gonna end tomorrow
and no one in our grade would live to see our senior prom
because fuck it-
i'm not going to prom. 
people say they're stuck on an emotional rollercoaster 
i'm strapped to a drop tower
without any memory of how i got there
without anyone else with me
without any indication of how i can get off
and every time someone extends a ladder
when it seems i'm stable 
there it goes
i drop

and the whole proccess begins again