May 19
Sarah Kodama's picture

Help Me

Many have lost the fight 
Each man and woman, 
And girls and boys,
They’re like toys 

To people who hurt and fight and kill us. 
But we endure with our heads down because we’re still us. 
We’re like sitting ducks in a world full of mountains. 
We climb and fall and die for what? 

Just to slide back down the side, 
To adversity, 
To have to explain our loyalty 
To this country?

And I don’t know what I’m doing. 
I’m out of my mind my thoughts are oozing
Out of my brain, I’m going crazy, 
And everything I feel is hazy.

Like the receptors aren’t there anymore 
And the signals they still seem to ignore 
That fire in my mind 
And the work, still on the grind 
All the work that we do 
It’s tossed away like a watermelon rind 

I’m pacing 
All the bloodshed and tears are effacing 
Just like invisible ink
But when you speak out you sink

Down to the ground 
To the bottom of the round 
You start over groveling back
Your blood, sweat, and tears don’t matter
Because they go black 

So “dulce et decorum est 
pro Patria Mori”
My ancestors died for this country
For my family, for me 

So I could have a good life 
Full of friends not of knives 
To the heart and to the soul 
To scoop them up and put them in a bowl
All the broken dreams
You know it’s broken when all you can do is scream 

And what does it matter 
We’re all going to die 
So what’s the point of having friends, having allies

For what? To speak for you 
When you have nothing to say 
To breathe for you when
You don’t have an airway 

We’re dying 
We all know it 
Yet some are consumed in their lives 
They don’t notice it. 

We’re attached to our screens, to ourselves 
We’re in a room divided by shelves 
It will dissipate us in a matter of seconds 
Yet we still expect relationships to be reckoned 

I want to see my former being 
And tell her what to expect of me 
And give advice 
To just be, stop bleeding 

Out and out with information 
Puzzled with confirmation 
Of a new idea, a history down the drain
Traditions falling like rain 

Clouded with judgment 
I cannot impair 
Will drive me to darkness 
To suffering, to despair 

I want to love my own self 
Not just leave it to die on a shelf 

But I can’t look at it without the bad qualities 
Darkened with high standards and policies 

I need to grow in this world
To show I have something to prove 
in the universe that is swirled 

I need to grow to be all I can be 
So help me 
Please Help me.
 
Sarah Kodama's picture
About the Author: Sarah Kodama
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